P

Dear Nammon,

I never thought today would ever come, when I have to write something in your memory. In a way to me it doesn't really feel like you're gone. I see people posting pictures of you on Facebook (me included) and the first thing that comes to my mind is "I really need to visit Nammon in Santa Barbara". But then I realize that you are no longer there. It is one of by biggest regrets that I only got to see you once in a place that you chose to end your long journey in.

I tried to think of what I should write of you.....but I didn't know where to start. I think that is not unusual though. When people know each other for so long, like that way I know you, becoming friends just seems like something that just happened with no particular reason....no specific event. The next thing I realized was that we became good friends. High school was so much fun and a lot less miserable because of you and all the laughter we had together in and out of class. So many memories of crazy antics that you were a part of.....they always give me something to smile about whenever I think of them.

I remember the day I told you that I didn't get the King's Scholarship and we wouldn't be going to the US together. I cried. You told me that it was ok and that I would definitely be able to find another way to follow you along, sooner or later. I didn't think you meant it and that you were just trying to comfort me, but I made a promise to you and myself that I would do everything I can to get to the US. To prove to people who had doubts in my capabilities that I could get myself there and be successful. Who would have thought that seven years later I would be able to do exactly what you told me I could? The day I told you over MSN that I would be going to Houston for a PhD, you said "I am not at all surprised. Didn't I tell you you'd be coming over?"

I came to the US and we always kept in touch. You were one of not many people I could vent to about grad school frustrations. I talked about my crappy life at school (because I don't have a life outside school) and you talked about some other crap that to this day I  think you might still wanna keep private ;). Too bad I was such a lab rat that I never got to visit you more in the lovely Santa Barbara. You always talked about the beauty of the city, and how bittersweet it was to run along the beach and see couples holding hands. I know how much you loved the place, and when I actually got to visit, I was not at all surprised.

I still remember that spring day in 2008 when you told me you had a hilarious story you wanted to share......about your recent diagnosis. After yelling at you for that fact that I did not find the news amusing, I fell into a moment of silence. Being a medical doctor I knew that the prognosis of your disease was grim. But then you told me you were going to be all right and that you were going to fight it, and I felt a whole lot better. Despite all that I learned from my medical training, I knew that it really was going to be ok.

Although I was always so far away in the deep south, you always kept me updated about your treatment. There were ups and downs, but you were never upset nor angry. You left it all to us to get upset on your behalf, which you never wanted. I wouldn't want to talk too much about all that. I know that last thing you want us to do is to talk about all the sob stories, since to you there was never a single sob story about your life.

The trip to Santa Barbara was brief but fun. It was nice being reunited with you and Vis, and we got to know Mock who has been a truly great friend. I shall always remember the long talks we had, the walk along the beach, the awesome hike, and the great meals we shared.

You're going to hate me for making this last bit sad, but I need to say it. Jumping onto that plane with clothes for 2 days, a stethoscope and my medical certificate was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I knew you were not going to make the trip, but I needed to be there. I am glad you were still able to acknowledge my presence. But most of all I was even more glad to be able to help ease your discomfort during the last days, communicate to the docs and assist mom, dad and Petch in ways that I knew how.

Lastly, I'd like to say one more thing. I have said this before to you before returning to Houston, but I'll say it here again. I want you to know that there is no goodbye. You know why? Because we will always be friends. This life and the next......for our lives are bound by karma. You are my biggest inspiration, and I will cherish every single memory of us for the rest of my life.

With love,

P